Happy thoughts.

If even the day should go by when i don't say i like you, may never a moment go by without you knowing that i do! gNyt! 09.13.2006 10PMish

We had many hellos, goodnights and kamustas....

sweet. flattering. most of the time i shrug it off like those i get from the other more friendly fellas.

Shall we fuck fate beb? Coincedental as it may seem, its strating to give me the creeps.. wallowing that we had so little time to see if it's real, you're there.. i'm here.

Life's a bitch! First you're stuck with undesired options .. you jump on making the RIGHT(moral and practical) decisions .. irreversable as it may seem,, there's too many signs that what you thought was right is now insignificant but actually vexating.

Is this happening to challenge my integrity to stick to what i thought was right?
Or is this spontaneous fate prompting me to ACT before it's too late for me to take on my life's purpose?

Who could tell?? ( the oooh so magical 8-ball)

Aside from the misery this is causing me right now, I'm scared of the uncertainty. Who wouldn't be?
Curiousity killed the cat. But what the hell.. we live to discover, and discover to live.

I'm running out of fairy dusts.. and loosing altitude. Please come back and let's just fly away to never never land.

Purple Sins Season 2

Back to addiction numero Dos!

Hombres!

This happening 2 years in a row, just gives me all the more reason to believe that i was some sort of witch in my past life. A hedonist witch!

Good life, Good times.. That's why!

I think tis both a blessing and a curse to have pandra's box for a brain. You see, i'm addicted to plain getting away with things.

SCRAAAAAAAAAAAATCH THAT!!

I tell you of the real deal why i get myself into this things.
I'm unhappy.
Someone promised to take care of me and give me the life that i dreamt of.
It has been almost 3 years and he has barely shown any signs of taking care of me and i'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far from my dream to the point that i have decided to forget about them.

My Mistake:
I got stupid.
I wanted to save my face.
I believed so much in his crap that I didn't follow my instincts.
Worst: I compromised.. have been compromising myself.

Would you consider it selfish for me to think of myself this time?
Would it be too late.. or just plain wrong for me to make things right?
Would my world still have me if I give up on life's challenges, just this once?
Is it all BS if i would consider my child to grow up with a young mother (really scared..but NOT STUPID anymore) than in a home filled with spite and frustrations?

Here's what YOU can do..

if you're a friend you'd be more appreciative.
if you're a confidant you'd trust me to make the right decisions and suffer the wrong ones we make TOGETHER!
if you're a husband you'd show me more respect and enough proof that i can entrust MY LIFE.. and my child to you.
if you're the man you say you are... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING RETARD?

Not to put evrything into equation... but i want you to know i have given up my life.. what i dreamt of... so pleaaaaaaaase... stop making me regret every single day of my miserable life.... if you can't grant me that simple favor.. you can always get your own life. Please.

IN

Hi, I'm Ruthie reporting for duty.

Later i'll intorduce you to some of my new found personalities who i managed to develop over the past 3 weeks. They have kept me company and sane.

Been helluva 3 week almost 24/7 operation for me. And it ended pretty good, the thing with these clients, once you have completed this seasons requirements.... they'll would go boomeranging before you know it. Ties are made and you just havta do ya thang!!

Started even before chirstmas, since season would give me very good excuse not to delive as much as i should.. i took advantage of it. Come january when we are less than 10 days from ramp up.... i pretty much accomplished the list below:

1. stood up and took ownership in leading a group.
2. went against my plans and end up doing most of the tasks solo.. my way.
3. insist and made sure that my team mates are not stressed even if i know my platelette count is down to 20 per drop.
4. argued and have had never ending arguments with my self.
5. learned that indians are ..... not so indians at all!
6. stay up late and work until i just get enough sleep to get me by the ride goin to the office.
7. ate lots of candied fruits from the fruitcake.. YUCK!
8. this and mostly that!

What else???

I dunno... i guess i could not have a better way to start 2007...
from my last blog i have announced the consumption fo the squares... i went on for 3 weeks, working diligently without any help from my guardian demons... WHOA!! It is for the same reason that my mind actually compensated just as well as to developing characters.

Meet the ladies...

Eve: She came out on the eve of New year. Havinig realized that January 2 i havta go back to the office and have people ready. She stayed calm, she didn't even cram. She made few phone calls... mostly chit chat... and went right ahead printing a 200 named call list, started calling each name by 9pm (time i get home). She practically stayed up until she gets ample number of names scheduled for the week. She feasts on chocolates @ 3am, and wakes up hopeful enough that would show up as scheduled (BUT THEY NEVER DID). That's when Noelle comes out.

Noelle: The tick tick BOOMer. patience is short lived, quite similar to Eve but her attention span is shorter. I'm guessing she's the outcome of the repressed anxiety held back by Eve's being so laid back. She jumps from one task to another, barely finishing half of a certain task. Her memory thou is awsome compare to the Ruthie. She picks up exactly where she left off. If we go back to the list above, her favorite accomplishment would be number 3. She has this obsession for reverse psychologizing people around her to prompt them to keep on moving. But she can't hold it up that long ... she moves on or back to another task.

Few interesting points towards the end of the 3 weeks, most especially when i found time to squeeze in night outs with my sisters already. We planned, unplanned, planned for the pyrolympics...then ended staying in a hotel with family.
and some unwanted sooo tempting attention from people. ^_^ oink oink!
and a day when all i did was sleep!

i hope ball keeops on rolling for me this way... really... i need to make things happen.. and i wish everyone the best of 2007!!

EurekaS!

ahA . . . it's alive!!!

06 January 2007
and it has already been consumed by famished dope heads.

alas!

Pyrolympics smokeee fest ... hmmm...

I'm in the office on a saturday... how worse can things be for me.
And I just learned it's the year of the fire pig,.... i happen to fall into the water pig category...
i assume this would be more of a good thing for me, because water is whole lot more useful and powerful than fire. hahahaha!
the thing is...
i don't like power at all.


cia cia.. i havta go.

oooh mustard!!

i'm back u quackin mustards!!

End of my 2nd dreadful day @ work. feet hurts, cant feel my tummy.. hunger passed twice and i have no choice but to ignore it. *ayyy im gutom!*

i have not been blogging lately because:
1. i don't feel like farting
2. too busy to fart
3. i'm pretending to fart to look like i'm busy.

if i had the chance to blog.. its all rants and/or just non-sense.

... to be continued

falling on mah ass..

hay.. can't believe this work week..

i fell on my ass yesterday(tuesday)... tripped 3 steps down .. stupid stairs!! i tell you it happens to be in my top 10 hated things in the world. the pain started only this morning, i didn't put too much thought yesterday when i saw my shoe heel flying ahead of me. I just got those shoes.. my hubby just got those for me... buMmEr!! now i havta wear the already foresaken pairs...aaaahhhhg the misery!
I went around QC with Wene the slut for half a day, we screened around 50 trainees from the TESDA free thing. 1st batch was horrible.. i don't want to illustrate how much our country should take this matter seriously,, giving out free trainings is a good start, i wish they look into integrating more efficient programs in the educational system.
I had dinner with the boys, pigged out. i had myself grilled veggie penne, nachos, a couple of cocktails and fuckn choco parafait!! VERRRY BADDDD! i stuffed my face bloated as i watched the boys become more and more opinionated by every bottle they chug down.

i'm not too hyped for tomorrow even if i was harassed today by a client who's too weird to even explain properly what he needs!

>>already tomorrow. SEE i'm so psychic when it comes to mess ups... fuckn client didn't show up. i was expecting the other way around, my people texting or calling in sick or whachubeber family emergencies and i end up with ZERO SHOWS! i want to blow the whole building up! fock!!<<

work work.. wish i had a life other than work!

swingin'

twas my hubby's 28th burstday yesterday and we celebrated in advance putting his and my daughter's party on one packed saturday evening.
i got up fairly early from a late night-early morning gimik with mah sistahs and tot, we went to the grocery, as in the whole block with jojo the mongo..my loving yaya net and mag bounzin bebe girl... ang saya!!
so i started cooking at around 4:30 even texted my friends halfway not to be punctual since im running late on schedule. I had to go double time when my 1st pair of visitors came.. aiko and jamie to put sincere judgement on what i have for the night .. well so far so good even if they only got to have the double sauced meatball pasta. ^_^
triple timing already when the Turbulence boys paid us a surprise visit.. hehe.. ny that time i was laready finishing my last dish, then my sistahs with joods came with the sisig!!! wooohooweeee! then my cousins with mah sister and dad.. we started devouring my soul food at around 9.. hehehe...
here's the thing... i love cooking more so cooking for people i love. I can bitch em around most of the days but one of the voodoos that i do would come in the form of the treats i conjoured up for you.
I'm not malambing, i am showy when i want to get on someone's nerve or i know that this person is too easy to make bola so i could get him to do what i want. But when i decide to cook for you, that means you are special enough that iL risk ruining my nails for u, tolerating the smell of garlic on my fingers for days after, exploring new flavors and guessing if this is in sync with YOU!
Artists write songs, or dance to really cheesy love songs. Authors have em in novels, poetry or prose.... While Ruthie has it served steamin hot, delightful desserts or simply mixed to knock you out....second..third servings allowed.

my sistahs and I with joods had the usual treats, we tagged along chano with us as our special guest.... we went swingin..

u must love how it takes you back to the time where you ddnt give an F about anything, the time when scabs on your knees would mean you have a great social life, when sago't gulaman is waaaaaaaaay better than starbucks ...when you would wait till the cheese coats your fingers for a few centimeters before you delightfully like each of em clean... when the greatest problem that u had would be the homework that u left undone because u just cannot be out in the streets and not be playing patintero/chinese garter/cos and robbers with teh other kids from the block.

you see this is why some people choose not to grow up.

can i just not care about not being adult enough in living my OWN life?