been lazy.
i hate it when i know i can do something so easily that i procastinate to an extremely dysfunctional level.
2 days now and it saks!
(4.22 -earthday)
it happens on tuesdays and wednesdays in particular, when i get to a friday the day would turn out too short for what's pending. hehehe (ano pa nga ba mapapala ko?)
procastination is an art and not so much of a science because it defies structure and method. it's over-confidence that you can do the job and wouldn't need that much of the usual time to get things done instead you resort to multitasking to a neurotic level that your adrenaline level must be a bar higher than having to run a marathon.
...in pursuit of this behavior's significance to today's event... it's literally stopping to smell the flowers?! hahahaha
people with short attention span would have the tendency to make this a routine (like me..) nothing beats the rush you get of having to race with the hourglass and having just your faith to keep you going ang get things done.
too much word play for an addictive mentality.
i guess no one really gives an effing care.
9.4.08
10.3.08
Blog #1 - 2008
Whoa!!
my first blog of the year... what have i been doing?? i cannot believe it took me three months to post and its really sad that it took me that long!!
and i have never been uberly busy, i just thought that i posted just recently (like having the "i did last week.." feeling whenever the thought pops into mind).
Since this is my forst 2008 blog, i'd like to share with you a fear that's been hovering over mah already twisted mind...
i have this strange feeling i'm turning normal. (normal to my perspective is boring ok!! how i define it.. well someone who rants less and just smiles at anything that comes her way). well by my definition, it doesn't look that bad, maybe i'm aging.. waaaaah!! aging bad.. normally! well here are the symptoms of this paranoia:
1. switch channels when i see re-runs of my favorite cartoons.. (i used to love this.. i even download simpsons.. and nick toons)
2. bisyo is like down to yosi and alak.. well hmmm... believe me i have outgrown the exitement of doing anything illegal.
3. january and february passed and i have managed to not entertain extra curricular activities. yun e! well it should be something that i be proud of.. because i deliberately resisted. AMEN!!
4. i have not gone out with any of my sistahs for more than once a month.. AND I UBER MISS EM!! miss u.. miss the crazy steady nights.. hay... sistah anne... hope you'd come out of that shell yer in.. well your ok.. not that ur not ok now.. just have a sure hunch (haha) that there are a lot of thisng in yer mind that u havta shrug off.. you can tell me to piss off now.. but really.. im here. sistah gi.. hmmm you being plural for a year now.. i am way passed getting selos with the huggy time.. well i know your busy and its just crazy.. i miss u! brotha ojee.. i wish u stop working way beyond your working hours and spend more time with us drinking.. minsan na lang nga e!!
5. whatttellllllz?!?!?! im working more than i have to.. and its like a new mantra or something.. pre-imposed.. but really if u ask me this is because the previous symptoms transpired and i am left with just work to make me busy.
u want proof of this, i talk about work even when we're out drinking.
okidokily... i wish iD not age to boredom.
pretty simple wish. i hope (wish again) my friends hear me out and take me away before its too late, i'd might end up figuring out a rubix cube (trivia: no patience and logic in my head thats like a rainbow to me.. oooh colorrrs)
ok tata for now..
my first blog of the year... what have i been doing?? i cannot believe it took me three months to post and its really sad that it took me that long!!
and i have never been uberly busy, i just thought that i posted just recently (like having the "i did last week.." feeling whenever the thought pops into mind).
Since this is my forst 2008 blog, i'd like to share with you a fear that's been hovering over mah already twisted mind...
i have this strange feeling i'm turning normal. (normal to my perspective is boring ok!! how i define it.. well someone who rants less and just smiles at anything that comes her way). well by my definition, it doesn't look that bad, maybe i'm aging.. waaaaah!! aging bad.. normally! well here are the symptoms of this paranoia:
1. switch channels when i see re-runs of my favorite cartoons.. (i used to love this.. i even download simpsons.. and nick toons)
2. bisyo is like down to yosi and alak.. well hmmm... believe me i have outgrown the exitement of doing anything illegal.
3. january and february passed and i have managed to not entertain extra curricular activities. yun e! well it should be something that i be proud of.. because i deliberately resisted. AMEN!!
4. i have not gone out with any of my sistahs for more than once a month.. AND I UBER MISS EM!! miss u.. miss the crazy steady nights.. hay... sistah anne... hope you'd come out of that shell yer in.. well your ok.. not that ur not ok now.. just have a sure hunch (haha) that there are a lot of thisng in yer mind that u havta shrug off.. you can tell me to piss off now.. but really.. im here. sistah gi.. hmmm you being plural for a year now.. i am way passed getting selos with the huggy time.. well i know your busy and its just crazy.. i miss u! brotha ojee.. i wish u stop working way beyond your working hours and spend more time with us drinking.. minsan na lang nga e!!
5. whatttellllllz?!?!?! im working more than i have to.. and its like a new mantra or something.. pre-imposed.. but really if u ask me this is because the previous symptoms transpired and i am left with just work to make me busy.
u want proof of this, i talk about work even when we're out drinking.
okidokily... i wish iD not age to boredom.
pretty simple wish. i hope (wish again) my friends hear me out and take me away before its too late, i'd might end up figuring out a rubix cube (trivia: no patience and logic in my head thats like a rainbow to me.. oooh colorrrs)
ok tata for now..
10.1.08
Purge my dreams..
This is horrible!
*ok.. i never got to write beyond the 1st line of this post... its been 5 months since i drafted this.. hahaha ha!*
i had a couple of dreams having my hubby shrug me off like i was a rag doll.
it hurts palaaaaaaaaaaa! hahahaha
anyways..
ok that "anyways" line was written on a different day. hahaha! i am obviously desperate to go back to blogging and my friggin schedule is 80% working 30% petix (yes its really sobra.. my officemates can access this blog an i need to be consistent.. hehehe )
ok about my dreams, have had vivid and vague ones since January. apart from the hostile marital dreams... i also dreamt of hurricanes hurling over me and i end up unharmed and got to blissfully enjoy the aftermath of the big whirly thing!
according to the dream book this depicts challenge/struggle, and if i know anything about dreams more than the visions and the ambiguity of situations what's significant would be how you feel in your dreams. This was actually consistent since i have been ranting from having too much to do with so little time. (this was when our team lost a couple of consultants and i had to take on their accounts... WAAAAAAAAAAAY TOOO MUCH! ..sober <--deal breaker!)
dreaming .. (ok brb,... tatad wants to drinky... maybe another day...)
ok back to finish this blog.. prolly its not meant to be finished...
also i dreamt of numbers.. as in digits.. so like any person in her right mind.. i lined up to put it up for the Lotto draw.. friggin 250M.. why not men? dreaming wealthy is i guess healthy.
its already april and my dreams have been vague. nothing blog material.
cheers!
*ok.. i never got to write beyond the 1st line of this post... its been 5 months since i drafted this.. hahaha ha!*
i had a couple of dreams having my hubby shrug me off like i was a rag doll.
it hurts palaaaaaaaaaaa! hahahaha
anyways..
ok that "anyways" line was written on a different day. hahaha! i am obviously desperate to go back to blogging and my friggin schedule is 80% working 30% petix (yes its really sobra.. my officemates can access this blog an i need to be consistent.. hehehe )
ok about my dreams, have had vivid and vague ones since January. apart from the hostile marital dreams... i also dreamt of hurricanes hurling over me and i end up unharmed and got to blissfully enjoy the aftermath of the big whirly thing!
according to the dream book this depicts challenge/struggle, and if i know anything about dreams more than the visions and the ambiguity of situations what's significant would be how you feel in your dreams. This was actually consistent since i have been ranting from having too much to do with so little time. (this was when our team lost a couple of consultants and i had to take on their accounts... WAAAAAAAAAAAY TOOO MUCH! ..sober <--deal breaker!)
dreaming .. (ok brb,... tatad wants to drinky... maybe another day...)
ok back to finish this blog.. prolly its not meant to be finished...
also i dreamt of numbers.. as in digits.. so like any person in her right mind.. i lined up to put it up for the Lotto draw.. friggin 250M.. why not men? dreaming wealthy is i guess healthy.
its already april and my dreams have been vague. nothing blog material.
cheers!
28.12.07
Adios 2007
Paalam sa taong nakaraan.. *BOW*
sarap sumayaw ng mataktak ang lahat ng sama ng loob at mga pagdududang ibinaon at naipon sa paglipas ng mga buwan. *bugtong hininga*
isa nanamang taon para para maiwaksi ang mga nakaraang pagkakamali..
umasa.. na 'tong taon na toh ay mas makabuluhan kesa sa nakaraan.
para mangarap..at gumawa ng mga bagong pangarap.
di ko 'lam kung ako lang ang may ganitong pakiramdam.. pero napaka-steady ng taon na 2007.
*usapang adik nanaman...walk out!*
pero seryoso.. parang bilis lumipas.. walang effort.. di ko lubusan nakamit lahat ng plano ko, pero ok naman. Di masyado pinansin ang kadramahan ng buhay.. dinedma lang.
pangkalahatan..
Salamat sa Diyos at buhay pa ko, masaya kahit papaano at nasa mabuting kaispan.
Salamat sa mga nameste at nanakit..kundi dahil senyo tuluyan na ko nabato.
Salamat sa mga payaso at mga kaibigang nabahiran ng kabaklaan.. dahil senyo nakalimutan ko ang mga problema.
Salamat salamat salamat!
Sa 2008 sige ikasa mo.. wala nang ilagan toh!
~ rootz
sarap sumayaw ng mataktak ang lahat ng sama ng loob at mga pagdududang ibinaon at naipon sa paglipas ng mga buwan. *bugtong hininga*
isa nanamang taon para para maiwaksi ang mga nakaraang pagkakamali..
umasa.. na 'tong taon na toh ay mas makabuluhan kesa sa nakaraan.
para mangarap..at gumawa ng mga bagong pangarap.
di ko 'lam kung ako lang ang may ganitong pakiramdam.. pero napaka-steady ng taon na 2007.
*usapang adik nanaman...walk out!*
pero seryoso.. parang bilis lumipas.. walang effort.. di ko lubusan nakamit lahat ng plano ko, pero ok naman. Di masyado pinansin ang kadramahan ng buhay.. dinedma lang.
pangkalahatan..
Salamat sa Diyos at buhay pa ko, masaya kahit papaano at nasa mabuting kaispan.
Salamat sa mga nameste at nanakit..kundi dahil senyo tuluyan na ko nabato.
Salamat sa mga payaso at mga kaibigang nabahiran ng kabaklaan.. dahil senyo nakalimutan ko ang mga problema.
Salamat salamat salamat!
Sa 2008 sige ikasa mo.. wala nang ilagan toh!
~ rootz
26.12.07
define "Will"...
Hey there brothers and sisters in Christ, Buddha, Allah and Pacquio!
it's the 26th of December and i just had one of the steadiest Christmas i ever had, is it karma that having been brought up with festive holidays i now celebrate Christmas in the solitude of the simplest joys.
Define Simplest joys:
1. have to spend it with in-laws than my family... (they happen to be super stingy and provincially traditional) ... i have to be a grown up when i'm with them being around pamangkins and all.. well i enjoyed the food.. there.
2. drove up to my lola's house to celebrate with MY side of the family.. we were rather late and caught up with a couple of my cousins.. my sick and almost blind lola.. and yesssss my tita who poured her misery on me (that's going to be another blog opportunity).
3. grown up gifts just make you smile.
4. smell of baked goodies and bidding gBye to christmas with a glass of vodka in hand.
Moving on to my blog title, learning that things do change and i really have to grow up, life seems to greatly depend on your faith. Not gonna go religeous on you .. nope not me.
By faith i mean sheer perseverance that you deserve equal if not 10x more happiness with every challenge that you overcome.
This "faith" dictates your will to move forward. yup.. driving force so to speak, whether to surpass a heartache or prolong joy. *such big words.. nosebleed*
This next section would talk much about how i see my God. (feel free to exit coz i myself is weirded out by this idea..)
Well.. the 2 venues where i celebrated my chirstmas gave me a view of how i want to grow up.
My in-laws' christmas lunch together didnt turn out as planned.. twas quite horrible actually too personal to expound on. For whatever its worth i actually want me not to be like them, i'm super thankful that my definition of family is beyond attendance and short-patience. This season i pledge to etch my definition of family into my daughter (kids.. in 5 years time).. my husband is a work in progress.. he can always quit if he likes.. i'm better solo. hehehe.. but its God's will that he's stuck with me vis-a-vis.
Christmas over at the Regala's pretty much saddened me more than the in-law's hysteria. Because we came in late, food was there.. and its just sad that there were not much laughs.. and no family. huhuhuhu... again things happen for a reason.. i haven't pledged on anything but i surely would want to keep it together for our generation.
(haba na nito...for that let's wait for my next blog).
Happiness is a choice... Joy requires will.
xoxo,
Ruthie 2007
it's the 26th of December and i just had one of the steadiest Christmas i ever had, is it karma that having been brought up with festive holidays i now celebrate Christmas in the solitude of the simplest joys.
Define Simplest joys:
1. have to spend it with in-laws than my family... (they happen to be super stingy and provincially traditional) ... i have to be a grown up when i'm with them being around pamangkins and all.. well i enjoyed the food.. there.
2. drove up to my lola's house to celebrate with MY side of the family.. we were rather late and caught up with a couple of my cousins.. my sick and almost blind lola.. and yesssss my tita who poured her misery on me (that's going to be another blog opportunity).
3. grown up gifts just make you smile.
4. smell of baked goodies and bidding gBye to christmas with a glass of vodka in hand.
Moving on to my blog title, learning that things do change and i really have to grow up, life seems to greatly depend on your faith. Not gonna go religeous on you .. nope not me.
By faith i mean sheer perseverance that you deserve equal if not 10x more happiness with every challenge that you overcome.
This "faith" dictates your will to move forward. yup.. driving force so to speak, whether to surpass a heartache or prolong joy. *such big words.. nosebleed*
This next section would talk much about how i see my God. (feel free to exit coz i myself is weirded out by this idea..)
Well.. the 2 venues where i celebrated my chirstmas gave me a view of how i want to grow up.
My in-laws' christmas lunch together didnt turn out as planned.. twas quite horrible actually too personal to expound on. For whatever its worth i actually want me not to be like them, i'm super thankful that my definition of family is beyond attendance and short-patience. This season i pledge to etch my definition of family into my daughter (kids.. in 5 years time).. my husband is a work in progress.. he can always quit if he likes.. i'm better solo. hehehe.. but its God's will that he's stuck with me vis-a-vis.
Christmas over at the Regala's pretty much saddened me more than the in-law's hysteria. Because we came in late, food was there.. and its just sad that there were not much laughs.. and no family. huhuhuhu... again things happen for a reason.. i haven't pledged on anything but i surely would want to keep it together for our generation.
(haba na nito...for that let's wait for my next blog).
Happiness is a choice... Joy requires will.
xoxo,
Ruthie 2007
8.11.07
BLAG! ..shit talk...
hay i miss writing...
i have noticed that i haven't been talking to myself lately. (confessions of a psycho)
I’m soooooo deep in dry shit.. (yes! the flaky dehydrated shit that rests on your front yard from the neighbor’s dog poo from 3 days ago). Here’s why…
I have been on some evul deed for quite some time to hang on to my dear sanity that I’m in the verge of loosing from utter boredom.
By boredom I mean complete detachment from what you do, and having your head stuck in some cloud 9 just waiting for this sign that I stop being bored.
I tried analyzing what’s going on with me and the best explanation I could think of would be I’m fighting off anxiety from work’s pressure. --- 1M worth of backlogs that I have 2 months.. well a month and a half to work on.—That or I’m just having the time of my life pulling this big drama act to get people’s sympathy…unlikely right? So I’ll go for the 1st one.
This is the dry shit… and I am so capable but super lazy to get our of this stinky place, plus the grass is nice and warm. ^_^
Maybe tomorrow… or next week… someone would sweep the shit I’m in and I would have to find me new challenges to get my blood pumpin’…fresher shit.. hehehe.
This has been nice.. til next time!
i have noticed that i haven't been talking to myself lately. (confessions of a psycho)
I’m soooooo deep in dry shit.. (yes! the flaky dehydrated shit that rests on your front yard from the neighbor’s dog poo from 3 days ago). Here’s why…
I have been on some evul deed for quite some time to hang on to my dear sanity that I’m in the verge of loosing from utter boredom.
By boredom I mean complete detachment from what you do, and having your head stuck in some cloud 9 just waiting for this sign that I stop being bored.
I tried analyzing what’s going on with me and the best explanation I could think of would be I’m fighting off anxiety from work’s pressure. --- 1M worth of backlogs that I have 2 months.. well a month and a half to work on.—That or I’m just having the time of my life pulling this big drama act to get people’s sympathy…unlikely right? So I’ll go for the 1st one.
This is the dry shit… and I am so capable but super lazy to get our of this stinky place, plus the grass is nice and warm. ^_^
Maybe tomorrow… or next week… someone would sweep the shit I’m in and I would have to find me new challenges to get my blood pumpin’…fresher shit.. hehehe.
This has been nice.. til next time!
12.9.07
Bente Quatro
my 23rd year was quick and .... too quick that it was painless so to speak.
Backtracking to the year i tied the knot, i officially kept my dreams in a dark and cold bunker with strong hopes that my life turns out to be manageable enough to permit such dreams to prosper.
2 years of virtually being dreamless obvoiusly took toll in my lifestyle and mind-set. From bitchy i became grouchy to the point of exhaustion that i only feel the urge to cry after i attempt to kill myself, not in any other occasion.
twas addictive to an extremely horrible manner. When an interesting conversation with a friend would start and end with spiful litany of people...work...life in-general. Looking back at it, twas like a cancer that spread rapidly and ate up all the sunshine i had inside.
Bottled up with frustrations from my own stubborness, i literally felt that i had nothing to offer to the world. living life in vain i found refuge in my daughter and recent moving back in with my dad and siblings.
24th year i want to absolve myself from these baggages that materialized over the years.
How?
beats me! hehe.. i guess i want to be me again but not denying the possiblity of what the past few years made of me. for this year its hakuna matata ... closing my eyes to opportunities to turn into this grim and letting go.
- out of sight out of mind...
- wake up and sleep with a smile or not wake or sleep at all.
- be more consistent
- patience and acceptance
- humility of will in chasing my stars
- less admonitions more cheers to spread at times of crisis (<--this wud drive me crazy.. beats being consistent... i guess its more of thinking really well before acting on impulse)
i have 6 years to make me work... happiness is a choice and was never promised as destiny... i don't believe in destiny anyways.. so i just be happy coz i wna be happy. As for my dreams....... hmmmm.... again... let go.. letting go.
*pislabenrakenrol*
Backtracking to the year i tied the knot, i officially kept my dreams in a dark and cold bunker with strong hopes that my life turns out to be manageable enough to permit such dreams to prosper.
2 years of virtually being dreamless obvoiusly took toll in my lifestyle and mind-set. From bitchy i became grouchy to the point of exhaustion that i only feel the urge to cry after i attempt to kill myself, not in any other occasion.
twas addictive to an extremely horrible manner. When an interesting conversation with a friend would start and end with spiful litany of people...work...life in-general. Looking back at it, twas like a cancer that spread rapidly and ate up all the sunshine i had inside.
Bottled up with frustrations from my own stubborness, i literally felt that i had nothing to offer to the world. living life in vain i found refuge in my daughter and recent moving back in with my dad and siblings.
24th year i want to absolve myself from these baggages that materialized over the years.
How?
beats me! hehe.. i guess i want to be me again but not denying the possiblity of what the past few years made of me. for this year its hakuna matata ... closing my eyes to opportunities to turn into this grim and letting go.
- out of sight out of mind...
- wake up and sleep with a smile or not wake or sleep at all.
- be more consistent
- patience and acceptance
- humility of will in chasing my stars
- less admonitions more cheers to spread at times of crisis (<--this wud drive me crazy.. beats being consistent... i guess its more of thinking really well before acting on impulse)
i have 6 years to make me work... happiness is a choice and was never promised as destiny... i don't believe in destiny anyways.. so i just be happy coz i wna be happy. As for my dreams....... hmmmm.... again... let go.. letting go.
*pislabenrakenrol*
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