i'll find you OUT!

The Bottom Line
The battle between your impatient side and your pragmatic side rages on today.

In Detail
Your heart wants one thing in your life right this very minute, but your head knows that it might not happen for a while. The battle between your impatient side and your pragmatic side will rage on today, with little (if any) resolution. This tension could cause you to lash out at people who try to push your buttons. It may serve them right, but if you add to the animosity, you aren't really doing yourself any favors.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

This might do the trick.
I have this need to shut everybody up. and get the RIGHT people talking.

because.. i have not heard what i wanna hear. Prolly whispers and mumblings..but i want it louder than my conscience... (not that it's pinching a nerve).

Paranoia creeps through my veins, sending my imagination in haywire..
It's nice when people put you in a comfy seat, but it gets all messed up when you find out its a mere act to manipulate your being.
Just like religion (i suppose..) they come up with these dogmas.. Dictates of authority to complitated questions of.. hmmm... society. So people would have one point of belief, believe and you'd be untouchable... doubt you're good as chopped liver.
You have this gut feel that everything's bullshit... ur comfort level hanging by a thread, but still that little helps you get by.
Good if you find it out before you get sucked into oblivious blackhole of false hopes and lies... Disasterous if you already started to shift your mind into the path it's leading you to.

If you're trying to do me a favor by brainwashing me.... save it!
I'm messed up as it is, I need a friend not someone who'll fuck me up even more.
I have already a list of people i want to get even with, and you would not want to have your name listed.

You hope to make me believe in soooo many things i have already forgotten/ignored.
If my intuition is beeping the right beep, you will cause soooooo much turmoil that would only push me to perpetual hopelessness.

You said so many things that I choose to hold on to because:
1. nice to hear. remember. believe.
2. i like you.
3. it ended the feeling that i'm in this alone.

If again my hunches are proved to be accurate, iD go on with my bitter life, cursing future opportunities and burn bridges proved to be sincere or not.. i could not care less... the pain it will bring would be too much to even get myself to pay attention to their ideas.

You brought me to hope, keep my faith and worship love again. If there would be EVEN THE SMALLEST lie into all the things you said to me, Good Lord I'll not stop at anything in ruining your life! Fuck Hope..Fuck Faith...Fuck the most Love!

bottomline, we were suppose to fuck fate... but i am pretty sure Fate is destined.. to fuck me out of my sanity.

*to the beb.*

If you are proved sincere... we'll continue fuckin' fate.