If even the day should go by when i don't say i like you, may never a moment go by without you knowing that i do! gNyt! 09.13.2006 10PMish
We had many hellos, goodnights and kamustas....
sweet. flattering. most of the time i shrug it off like those i get from the other more friendly fellas.
Shall we fuck fate beb? Coincedental as it may seem, its strating to give me the creeps.. wallowing that we had so little time to see if it's real, you're there.. i'm here.
Life's a bitch! First you're stuck with undesired options .. you jump on making the RIGHT(moral and practical) decisions .. irreversable as it may seem,, there's too many signs that what you thought was right is now insignificant but actually vexating.
Is this happening to challenge my integrity to stick to what i thought was right?
Or is this spontaneous fate prompting me to ACT before it's too late for me to take on my life's purpose?
Who could tell?? ( the oooh so magical 8-ball)
Aside from the misery this is causing me right now, I'm scared of the uncertainty. Who wouldn't be?
Curiousity killed the cat. But what the hell.. we live to discover, and discover to live.
I'm running out of fairy dusts.. and loosing altitude. Please come back and let's just fly away to never never land.
31.1.07
19.1.07
Purple Sins Season 2
Back to addiction numero Dos!
Hombres!
This happening 2 years in a row, just gives me all the more reason to believe that i was some sort of witch in my past life. A hedonist witch!
Good life, Good times.. That's why!
I think tis both a blessing and a curse to have pandra's box for a brain. You see, i'm addicted to plain getting away with things.
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAATCH THAT!!
I tell you of the real deal why i get myself into this things.
I'm unhappy.
Someone promised to take care of me and give me the life that i dreamt of.
It has been almost 3 years and he has barely shown any signs of taking care of me and i'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far from my dream to the point that i have decided to forget about them.
My Mistake:
I got stupid.
I wanted to save my face.
I believed so much in his crap that I didn't follow my instincts.
Worst: I compromised.. have been compromising myself.
Would you consider it selfish for me to think of myself this time?
Would it be too late.. or just plain wrong for me to make things right?
Would my world still have me if I give up on life's challenges, just this once?
Is it all BS if i would consider my child to grow up with a young mother (really scared..but NOT STUPID anymore) than in a home filled with spite and frustrations?
Here's what YOU can do..
if you're a friend you'd be more appreciative.
if you're a confidant you'd trust me to make the right decisions and suffer the wrong ones we make TOGETHER!
if you're a husband you'd show me more respect and enough proof that i can entrust MY LIFE.. and my child to you.
if you're the man you say you are... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING RETARD?
Not to put evrything into equation... but i want you to know i have given up my life.. what i dreamt of... so pleaaaaaaaase... stop making me regret every single day of my miserable life.... if you can't grant me that simple favor.. you can always get your own life. Please.
Hombres!
This happening 2 years in a row, just gives me all the more reason to believe that i was some sort of witch in my past life. A hedonist witch!
Good life, Good times.. That's why!
I think tis both a blessing and a curse to have pandra's box for a brain. You see, i'm addicted to plain getting away with things.
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAATCH THAT!!
I tell you of the real deal why i get myself into this things.
I'm unhappy.
Someone promised to take care of me and give me the life that i dreamt of.
It has been almost 3 years and he has barely shown any signs of taking care of me and i'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far from my dream to the point that i have decided to forget about them.
My Mistake:
I got stupid.
I wanted to save my face.
I believed so much in his crap that I didn't follow my instincts.
Worst: I compromised.. have been compromising myself.
Would you consider it selfish for me to think of myself this time?
Would it be too late.. or just plain wrong for me to make things right?
Would my world still have me if I give up on life's challenges, just this once?
Is it all BS if i would consider my child to grow up with a young mother (really scared..but NOT STUPID anymore) than in a home filled with spite and frustrations?
Here's what YOU can do..
if you're a friend you'd be more appreciative.
if you're a confidant you'd trust me to make the right decisions and suffer the wrong ones we make TOGETHER!
if you're a husband you'd show me more respect and enough proof that i can entrust MY LIFE.. and my child to you.
if you're the man you say you are... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING RETARD?
Not to put evrything into equation... but i want you to know i have given up my life.. what i dreamt of... so pleaaaaaaaase... stop making me regret every single day of my miserable life.... if you can't grant me that simple favor.. you can always get your own life. Please.
15.1.07
IN
Hi, I'm Ruthie reporting for duty.
Later i'll intorduce you to some of my new found personalities who i managed to develop over the past 3 weeks. They have kept me company and sane.
Been helluva 3 week almost 24/7 operation for me. And it ended pretty good, the thing with these clients, once you have completed this seasons requirements.... they'll would go boomeranging before you know it. Ties are made and you just havta do ya thang!!
Started even before chirstmas, since season would give me very good excuse not to delive as much as i should.. i took advantage of it. Come january when we are less than 10 days from ramp up.... i pretty much accomplished the list below:
1. stood up and took ownership in leading a group.
2. went against my plans and end up doing most of the tasks solo.. my way.
3. insist and made sure that my team mates are not stressed even if i know my platelette count is down to 20 per drop.
4. argued and have had never ending arguments with my self.
5. learned that indians are ..... not so indians at all!
6. stay up late and work until i just get enough sleep to get me by the ride goin to the office.
7. ate lots of candied fruits from the fruitcake.. YUCK!
8. this and mostly that!
What else???
I dunno... i guess i could not have a better way to start 2007...
from my last blog i have announced the consumption fo the squares... i went on for 3 weeks, working diligently without any help from my guardian demons... WHOA!! It is for the same reason that my mind actually compensated just as well as to developing characters.
Meet the ladies...
Eve: She came out on the eve of New year. Havinig realized that January 2 i havta go back to the office and have people ready. She stayed calm, she didn't even cram. She made few phone calls... mostly chit chat... and went right ahead printing a 200 named call list, started calling each name by 9pm (time i get home). She practically stayed up until she gets ample number of names scheduled for the week. She feasts on chocolates @ 3am, and wakes up hopeful enough that would show up as scheduled (BUT THEY NEVER DID). That's when Noelle comes out.
Noelle: The tick tick BOOMer. patience is short lived, quite similar to Eve but her attention span is shorter. I'm guessing she's the outcome of the repressed anxiety held back by Eve's being so laid back. She jumps from one task to another, barely finishing half of a certain task. Her memory thou is awsome compare to the Ruthie. She picks up exactly where she left off. If we go back to the list above, her favorite accomplishment would be number 3. She has this obsession for reverse psychologizing people around her to prompt them to keep on moving. But she can't hold it up that long ... she moves on or back to another task.
Few interesting points towards the end of the 3 weeks, most especially when i found time to squeeze in night outs with my sisters already. We planned, unplanned, planned for the pyrolympics...then ended staying in a hotel with family.
and some unwanted sooo tempting attention from people. ^_^ oink oink!
and a day when all i did was sleep!
i hope ball keeops on rolling for me this way... really... i need to make things happen.. and i wish everyone the best of 2007!!
Later i'll intorduce you to some of my new found personalities who i managed to develop over the past 3 weeks. They have kept me company and sane.
Been helluva 3 week almost 24/7 operation for me. And it ended pretty good, the thing with these clients, once you have completed this seasons requirements.... they'll would go boomeranging before you know it. Ties are made and you just havta do ya thang!!
Started even before chirstmas, since season would give me very good excuse not to delive as much as i should.. i took advantage of it. Come january when we are less than 10 days from ramp up.... i pretty much accomplished the list below:
1. stood up and took ownership in leading a group.
2. went against my plans and end up doing most of the tasks solo.. my way.
3. insist and made sure that my team mates are not stressed even if i know my platelette count is down to 20 per drop.
4. argued and have had never ending arguments with my self.
5. learned that indians are ..... not so indians at all!
6. stay up late and work until i just get enough sleep to get me by the ride goin to the office.
7. ate lots of candied fruits from the fruitcake.. YUCK!
8. this and mostly that!
What else???
I dunno... i guess i could not have a better way to start 2007...
from my last blog i have announced the consumption fo the squares... i went on for 3 weeks, working diligently without any help from my guardian demons... WHOA!! It is for the same reason that my mind actually compensated just as well as to developing characters.
Meet the ladies...
Eve: She came out on the eve of New year. Havinig realized that January 2 i havta go back to the office and have people ready. She stayed calm, she didn't even cram. She made few phone calls... mostly chit chat... and went right ahead printing a 200 named call list, started calling each name by 9pm (time i get home). She practically stayed up until she gets ample number of names scheduled for the week. She feasts on chocolates @ 3am, and wakes up hopeful enough that would show up as scheduled (BUT THEY NEVER DID). That's when Noelle comes out.
Noelle: The tick tick BOOMer. patience is short lived, quite similar to Eve but her attention span is shorter. I'm guessing she's the outcome of the repressed anxiety held back by Eve's being so laid back. She jumps from one task to another, barely finishing half of a certain task. Her memory thou is awsome compare to the Ruthie. She picks up exactly where she left off. If we go back to the list above, her favorite accomplishment would be number 3. She has this obsession for reverse psychologizing people around her to prompt them to keep on moving. But she can't hold it up that long ... she moves on or back to another task.
Few interesting points towards the end of the 3 weeks, most especially when i found time to squeeze in night outs with my sisters already. We planned, unplanned, planned for the pyrolympics...then ended staying in a hotel with family.
and some unwanted sooo tempting attention from people. ^_^ oink oink!
and a day when all i did was sleep!
i hope ball keeops on rolling for me this way... really... i need to make things happen.. and i wish everyone the best of 2007!!
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