this is why i have to write.

i
love
to

SLEEP

because

MY LiFE

has the
tendency
to

faLL aPart...
when
im
awake.


back in 2004 i started blogging (thanks to the influence of sarah and aiko). I could not access my older accounts so i stopped blogging until around november of last year when friendster had the blog thing feature.
I have always been fond of writing down my thoughts and sentiments, like a lot of people it's therapy for me. I just came to notice how I evolved from a free-spirited optimistic blogger to a balled-up bitch. I can only tell as far as how i dealt with the past 2 years of my life, there always been questions if i am the only one who got a tumble-down the dirt covered road, am i the only one who seems to be tired (but not really giving up) of the turns that our world has come to?

Just this very minute i realized WHY i write things down.

"There's No Bitchin a round a true blooded bitch" (there's no bitchin a true blue bitch around ---> rusty grammar) I have counted how manysunshines i missed and looked forward to at least witnessing more (if i happen to wake up that early) and still blissfully worshiping sunsets and moonlights....
For a time i have lost hope because i'm burned out. Work is getting to my head, that i have a blurry view of what i cna make out of my career since i have been trying to numb myself of my desires to do what i want to do. Another recollection, i control ME but HE controls my life.
Maybe.. just maybe when i get a breather ( a nice vacation... or a reward for dealing with the suckiest job--stull thankful im employed though) i can have me a sharper view of how I would make best of what and where i am now.