Tinimbang ngunit kulang...

I got my anwer alright. We have beat ourselves to what was possible and deliberately blinded ourselves of rthe impossible.

this is by far the biggest frustration for me this year.. with a capital F for fucking failure!!

i am still clueless as to how i'D push to make it next year, damn the few digits that got me knocked off the painstaking journey to meet 2008 quota. As if the 1.4M losses was not enough tragedy, coping after each decline was like waiting for a broken finger to heal.

i'd expect more of that next year, the single certain wish i'd have for next year is to harbor enough courage to confront individuals to support the team instead of kicking us further deeper underground when we encounter similar losses regardless how much it cost. In a perfect world one's happiness/success should be infectious rather than elicit adverse reactions turning hope and damage control efforts as futile as this year.

i'm starting to love what i'd doing primarily because i hate being judged short of my efforts. I can prove them wrong but then again i have to keep in mind that efforts charged by bitterness instantly bring out much worse emotions whether it be good or less good. hahaha!

to #s 6 and 7.. it has to be better luck for next time for us, shall we show them what we are made of? (sugar...spice and a lots of clean honest tricks in the bag) Goojab goojab! Let's do this!!!

got ink?

I just want to press what was made obvious to me lately, a lot of people i know are getting inked.

My brownie sista Gi just got her 2nd tat last saturday 2 weeks after she got her first, and she won't stop at just two skin stamps she's actually thinking of getting another one (with me and Anne--its the three's company thing) next week.

On that same day that Gi told me she's gonna get her name tagged one of my college friends soliceted for my opinion on a tat desiogn she intend to get. It was of a fairy sitting on what looks like a flower. The following week the boo caught me online and just the same solicited an opinion on a tat design he wanted to get. He wanted to get this ---> etched on his bicep, just the skeletal art. Told him the details he wanted would call for a bigger skin area, he kinda left with no reaction. hahahaha!

Here are some pics of Gi's bodyart adn a peek of the magnificent tat artist she's been patronizing.

this is the outline--- then this is the colored one still red from all the etching.

I'm still contemplating whether i'D jump on the bandwagon and join the craze, few things holding me back really. First, its permanent and judging on how i tend to lose interest on things, i might regret getting one that iD get sick of after a year or two. Another one would be, i might get hooked on the pain of getting one and end up looking like a sketch pad with the so many designs i'd like to get. 3rd and most minor would have to be i'm kinda scared my family would be outraged with me getting one. However, i don't think it would be overly frowned upon since both my Kuyas has one and two of my cousins too.

So far i have decide to get one inked over my shoulders draping to the back also i want to get a tree design with my trademark vines and roots and earthy swirly design. There should also be stars within the design and my name. :) I plan to get it by January just like when i got my tongue pierced. A piercing is actually my back-up. :)

Ngiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggggggg naaaangiiiiingggggg nagingg nginggggggggggggg nangingingingngiiiiing!!!!! I can see myself getting addicted to this, i need to prepare myself. Wish me luck.

let me see you beat that...

Busy time of the year is here again, when i'm stuck chasing something that i half believe in.... (QUOTA!) hehehehe...

It would be wonderful if i did make it, maybe next year i'd believe more than half... hehehe maybe 3/4. Besides, for the whole year i've been like bustlin and petix on and off anyways. Petix kicks in when i get demoralized, being a person with a caveman's moral standards.. ok maybe not a caveman.. but someone who couldn't care less if i lose a limb to help someone else close a deal. maybe that has nothing to do with morals.. but it kinda falls in the same context when cheating your way to meet your quota (on other people's expense) is an issue.

im psyched that 2/6 members of my team are representing us real well making over half a million closed sales from agents... KamoWn!! thats like a first in histroy. i'd have my success stories to preach over and over again but its friggin lizzard shit compared to the power combo team.

.... i'll get back with a more interesting topic to blog about (e.g. how im too old for clubbing.. yes i Am! , or another rant fest.. which is always interesting because its trash talk.)

KuDos to Paola and Gelaboo for a job wonderFucknly done!

pagsuko sa tukso.

anong gagawin mo pag may demonyong gumugulo sa 'yong isipan?na kahit anong pilit.. kahit anong desperadong dasal ang ibulong mo ay di ka matahimik.napapagod na sa kakatakbo mula sa mga humahabol na diwang di mo maiwaksi.
baket kasi kelangan magtiwala at umasa pa kung alam mo naman na ang mundo ay puno ng tukso at pagpapahamak!?gusto ko isara ang aking isipan, ngunit ang mga multong toh ay tila nagpaparusa sa pagpikit at mulat ng 'yong mga mata.
tuloy lang ang aking dalangin, ititikom na ang bibig. wala ka na maririnig. mas mabuti ng maipon toh at maghasik ng kaguluhan sa segradong dingding ng aking isipan, kesa ibahagi pa sa taong nanlilinlang.
ayoko na.


*****
grr i hate it. i hate being paranoid about something..actually anything as futile as having to figure out if this is indeed a paranoia or an intuition.
i need silence.

PANALANGIN SA ANITO ng mga KURAKOT

BAHALA KA SA BUHAY MO!

isa kang kanser.. mas malala.. tumor.. mas malala pa dun.. kulugo!!

ibalik sana sayo ng tadhana ang mga kinukurakot mong paghihirap namin!

*bow*

ang ingay lang..

about the time people get back to their seats after lunch break they either burst out singing lines from songs, relay a 2 paragraph-long chika, talk to themselves regarding the task that they left hanging before the break apparently saying this out loud is the most effective way to register momentum back to your day's work.

i hear all these. amazingly can't piece together relevance of why i take special notice of these observations today.

boredom strikes again. its nice to make sense of irrelevant details of your day and try to hype a sensation out of something literally less than ordinary.

i'm gonna go back looking for candidates. or to the book i've been reading. or probably i'd contribute to someone else's witsful thought of the day.

DiRT

It’s comforting that fools can spice my workplace up.
When we all thought that we can act our age some can just go back to their juvenile pet peeves and drag other people with them.
Trouble spun out of proportions when constructive criticism was taken viciously by people who decided to win fondness from another when they turn harmless advises into dirt.
No one will take dirt, not even from the people you trust. Won’t blame it all on you hunny.. but really.. whatever offense you took from those words we give back to you for thinking that we could actually stomp on you just like that.
You may be perpetually gullible and we have given you infinite opportunity to level with our admonitions because we want only the best for you. That’s what “friends” do for each other.
We can’t be taken as close as your real “vounzes” but I for one would have enough maturity to tell it to your face than have someone deliver it to you in trash talk.
Let this serve as fair warning/heartfelt reminder to people who intend to have a piece of our ass.. only RATS take pleasure living and feasting on dirt.. Unlike YOU, yes YOU… our skeletons are left to dry out in the open than be kept to rot in maiitim na budhi.

To the lady who got all trampled on by someone else's dirty mouth, i'm sorry you had to believe her more than what we have been to you. Sincerly sorry if you felt bad to hear those from her, but we constantly and will never stop being true to you despite this incedent. Light to you vision.

xoxo goes with ha ha!