DiRT

It’s comforting that fools can spice my workplace up.
When we all thought that we can act our age some can just go back to their juvenile pet peeves and drag other people with them.
Trouble spun out of proportions when constructive criticism was taken viciously by people who decided to win fondness from another when they turn harmless advises into dirt.
No one will take dirt, not even from the people you trust. Won’t blame it all on you hunny.. but really.. whatever offense you took from those words we give back to you for thinking that we could actually stomp on you just like that.
You may be perpetually gullible and we have given you infinite opportunity to level with our admonitions because we want only the best for you. That’s what “friends” do for each other.
We can’t be taken as close as your real “vounzes” but I for one would have enough maturity to tell it to your face than have someone deliver it to you in trash talk.
Let this serve as fair warning/heartfelt reminder to people who intend to have a piece of our ass.. only RATS take pleasure living and feasting on dirt.. Unlike YOU, yes YOU… our skeletons are left to dry out in the open than be kept to rot in maiitim na budhi.

To the lady who got all trampled on by someone else's dirty mouth, i'm sorry you had to believe her more than what we have been to you. Sincerly sorry if you felt bad to hear those from her, but we constantly and will never stop being true to you despite this incedent. Light to you vision.

xoxo goes with ha ha!

..Desiderata..

Desiderata
by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

This is one of the loveliest chemistry of words i've ever read. And it never failed to shoo away dark clouds whenever they come hovering.. There's a tagalog version but it's a bit more like a sermon, if you never listened to anyone but your folks maybe that would work better for you.

*^*^*^*
Hi team mate, today is the day.. Good Luck!! if you feel that today is the right day to make things right i'm with you girl, for sure there would be more times to stand up and speak up.. take your time. :p cheers!

BenteSinKo sinku-sinko..

I had a horrible encounter with a monster last night. Yup like the boogie man who sneaks up on you while you sleep, only i was wide awake and i'm pretty sure why i became vulnerable.Its never good to bottle up frustrations. Due to over excitement of the long awaited oktoberfest islash bday bash and fatigue from the weather and work.

So i have been sick since tuesday last week, scratchy throat lead to a full-blown infection fever mess, had me plasterred to my bed on Thursday. Come friday i came to work all woozy but i had to smile for the day's sake. wishing that my positivity can boost up the antibodies and drive the infection away just in time for the beer fest..BUT NOOOOO!!!!!! i grew worse by the hour and had a fever in time for the fest, so i resorted to just drink a couple bottles and give it up as soon as my world went blanko.. hahaha! i wanted to go in the tents set along the streets but there were too many emo tikbalangs lurking, i got scared i might contract yet another deadly virus from their impoverished behavior. yuckiness!! so i caught up with anna in shang who just finished a movie, by the time we got to the MRT my pulse rate went up that i was already gasping for air when i got into the shuttle service. i only have enough energy to take a shower and wait for the hubby to go home and tuck me into bed. :(

Saturday was all good, weather was perfect for me not to get another fever relapse but my throat was still terrible that i could only talk in super short sentences. I took pain relivers that also covered my abdiminal pains, by the time the meds wained off my tummy was churning from i dunno what that i didn't get to sleep until i heard birds chirpping. That's a couple of hours of sleep before i had to prepare for our regular sunday trip to the in-laws. Feverish again i prayed that i'd can soon go back to my bed and sleep off the pesteng sunday heat and get better for the coming work week. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! again.. my hubby wanted to buy me my bday gift, i didnt wanna be KJ so i went along, we went to get me a pair of work shoes. The search went on for good 2-hours in MOA, basta i was exhausted then i had migraine and feverish still. So i was expecting my hubby and i could just like kick it and relax with my daughter, when he went into this phone brigade looking for gimmick still!! ahhhhhhhhhg!!! So i went up and prepared for bed wanted to sleep off the frustration that iD be spending the night alone and have to get up to get the door for the gimikero around 4am... :( I asked him politely not to go out anymore because i was not feeling well but he persisted. I managed to take a nap only to be bugged yet again by the inconsiderate husband for me to go with him. I told him to bog off in a semi-drama tone.. but he wudn't.. i ended up tearing a sleeve off his shirt just to get him out of my face so i could finally retire to my sleep and feel better in the morning, but he put up a fight and i ended up palpitating and an even worse headache.

So here goes my birthday resolution. I shall not tap into my emo side again because it happens to be double-wired with my schizo side as well. A flick on that emotion people usually have to make lambing and tampo and pa tweetums also switches on a psycho in me. Trying to remember how violent and unreasonable the outburst was makes my temples pulsate again and it hurts. So no more of that.

.Steady-way-is-the-best-way.

Much to do about nothing..

in modern lingo..petix. hehe.. im just too giddy to even start on my tasks.

SanMig started prepping up the stretch of SanMIg Ave for their event on Friday.
Coincedentally that's my bday too.. yes its going to be a very happy beerday indeed.

The wait is getting tooo painful for me to endure.. im to anxious i finish tasks right away, setting aside some not so urgent taks for me to mind just in case i need to pretend to be toxic.

i just saw the venue format for the friday event and this is sooooooo God-sent that teh reggae stage is the closest one to our office. hahaha! hay...
While reading the same memo i had a surreal vision in my head that my bday would be so astig coz iD have my friends raising their drinks and say cheers all together.. yay!!

This is starting to be a yabang mo moment.. just overwhelmed by the kaastigan. oh well gotta go back to work.

Unmoved.

I have several bunches of really great friends. I have been tripping on Alicia Keys' City Life intro because i love the way she delivered the prose but more than that it reminds me on how some people have the ability to hold me down and get me back to my steady self. To share these lyrics/prose with everyone, i wish my sista a happiest 26th year ahead. It's somewhat gloomy if you read it but really it talks of gaining enough stability to fight your own battles. Chaos is then defined to understand how to put order in this world. Embrace chaos and your life's troubles and don't let go of that itsy bitsy light of achieving ultimate happiness. Love you and you can trust me to keep you grounded as you did me. :p cheers cheers!

Here I am, Here We are
As it will go on forever
Noise, always noise
Candles burn, lights are low
I haven't a place to go

Life in it's in constant state of moving nowhere
The music is nice, floats through the air
Sounds of waves crashing everywhere
Percussive Submissions, mind conditions
Writing with the left hand
Unknowing and taking the chance

Why not fly? Why not try?
This constant game i play to stay high
But all is just a state of mind
All is reality of your choice
Constant evolution, constant adaptation
Constant state of moving nowhere

Footsteps, silence is loud
Kindness is brave, wisdom is long
Loving is necessary, i need it, we need it
Searching, looking for satisfaction
it is nowhere, it is everywhere

Preaching, pleading, praying for God to come
What are we waiting for?
Why are we so afraid of taking charge?
But it's always changing, always
In a constant state of moving nowhere

We all have demons to battle, roads to walk
Crosses to bear, mistakes and sins
Candles and their steady glow
Water in its constant crash

Endless horizon, rocks of time long gone
Still strong, still here and so are we
Here we are forever
In a constant state of moving nowhere.

boxed up.

What's the term to word one's capability to be influenced? vulnerability? errr does that cover the act of actually analysing and backing out and evading the actual influence?

On that note, i just remembered i'm supposed to blog about this type of situations before but never got the chance to remember to post one. I have noticed that i soak up on emotions when i'm around someone who's vastly immersed in an extreme state of emoteness.. hahaha. (hay language are of my brain has deteriorated.. i cannot be sober for so long!!!) and in the course of my professional life, this ability of getting drenched with someone else's emotions i could now say only has put me in this box where i want so much to relate but would not dare because i'm so much of a sissy to handle the complications. (sissiness is the result of stubborness and laziness to promote change big enough to ruin a mediocre routine of a life that you already have.. hehehe just so we're clear..)

What's the point of the blog then? uhmmm.. wla lang.. just wanted to share that i'm still stuck with no appropriate reaction to influences that puts my priorities at stake hence i have to blame myself for being a sissy to move on.. see the light that others saw... hehehe.. kelan kaya ako manenega and have a full-blast rampage of negativity? What can i do when that happens? for some reason all i could see are dark images of me gunning down all fugly people in front of me, and my quick-fix would be to treat anyone who witnessed it to a can of soda and a stick of yosi.. KALMAAAAAAAAA! hehehehe.. pasalamat na lang tayo sa Diyos na ginwa niya kong steady. *bow* thanks po!

anong oras ako nag post ng blog?! CHUCHU BEWARE

No time to listen to myself. i miss "senti" moments, when you have enough positivity at the end of the day and exhaust what's left of your day's energy making nilaynilay..writing...imagining...wishing..dreaming.weeks have been boring because its too busy to even stay focus. i have learned to cope with stuff and shut off emotions that i want to stay in one area of the day.say... work has always been tainted with marginal politicking, rants over incompetence and blind resignation to get things done and over with. i had a couple of events over the weekend with my officemates, twas a breather and dramatic. all negativity so long as it doesn't hit me directly is neutralized by the horsing around during breaks or when we get to send IMs to each other. I definitely belong to the group that stays evasive of the office issues but could supply reliable intelligence to whoever.. unbiased, well at least if we do take side, we take the lesser evil and more rational party. my family has been pretty fun past few weeks. finally had a chance to take andrea out to the mountains. where she painted walls and kissed the clouds. twas quite misty that weekend but fun all the same. my sista has been in touch, sista gi just a little.. missin her. Anne naman has managed to confuse me with his guy stories. they're interesting but confusing.
once again i have reached steadiness. i need a new drive to finally close deals that i really want to close. more importantly i'd like to seek for new devious ways to put people in their right places. so the world would be a quieter place to live in.
:p
labo lang..